Let’s talk about something that isn’t easy to hear but is crucial for finding real peace: forgiveness. When someone wrongs us deeply, it’s tempting to hold onto that anger as if it somehow controls the hurt. But here’s the truth—forgiveness isn’t optional for a Christ-follower; it’s the only way to truly live free. And here’s why:
Why Forgiveness Matters
Hebrews 12:15 warns us, “Look after each other so that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you.” The Bible doesn’t treat unforgiveness as just a feeling; it calls it a dangerous root of bitterness. And when it grows, it doesn’t just trouble us; it spills over and affects everyone around us. Holding onto unforgiveness keeps us locked in a cycle of resentment, while forgiveness opens the door to real peace.
Forgiveness sounds simple, but it’s anything but. We get a lot of mixed messages about what it really means—like thinking forgiveness makes everything fine or that it’ll happen naturally just because we’re believers. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Forgiveness is a choice we have to make to live free and at peace, even when it’s hard. Here are five myths that keep us stuck and take a real look at what forgiveness actually involves.
Five Myths About Forgiveness:
“Forgiveness Should Be Easy for Christians”
Reality check: Forgiveness isn’t easy, even for Christians. It’s a test of character and spiritual maturity, not a natural reaction. It’s okay to feel hurt and sorrowed when we’re wronged; even Jesus felt the pain of rejection (Isaiah 53). The journey of forgiveness often means bringing that pain to God and letting Him heal us, one step at a time.
“Forgiveness Requires an Apology”
Reality check: If we wait for an apology, we’re confusing forgiveness with grace. Grace means giving unearned mercy because Jesus did that for us (Romans 5:8). The person who hurt us can’t make us whole—only Jesus can. Holding back forgiveness until an apology comes only keeps us in bondage, while letting go frees us.
“Forgiveness Equals Reconciliation”
Reality check: Reconciliation is about two people, and it’s not always possible or wise. Forgiveness, though, is something we do within ourselves, letting God handle the justice and healing. Ephesians 4:32 calls us to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. It’s about our relationship with God, not the offender.
“Forgiveness Doesn’t Cost Anything”
Reality check: Forgiving someone often means letting go of our claim for justice. Matthew 5:38 encourages us to let go of the urge for “an eye for an eye” and instead refuse to hurt others back. Forgiveness costs us that claim, but the reward is a heart free from the cycle of revenge.
“If I Forgive, They Win”
Reality check: Forgiveness doesn’t mean we’re letting the offender get away with it. Just look at Joseph’s story—by forgiving, he broke the cycle of hurt and embraced the freedom to move forward, fulfilling God’s greater purpose for his life. Forgiveness isn’t letting them off the hook; it’s letting ourselves off the hook of bitterness.
Choosing Freedom
When we choose forgiveness, we’re choosing freedom. It’s not about pretending the hurt didn’t happen or excusing someone’s behavior; it’s about letting go of what keeps us stuck. Unforgiveness keeps us chained to the very pain we want to escape. But forgiveness? That’s where real freedom begins. It means we’re no longer tied to the bitterness, no longer carrying the weight of someone else’s choices.
Forgiveness lets us put down the burden, step out of the past, and make space for peace. It’s about removing those roots of bitterness—little by little, day by day—and letting God bring healing and restoration to places we thought were too broken to repair. God’s got something better for us, and it starts when we release the grudge, trust His justice, and embrace the peace He’s offering.
So, let’s make this choice together. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. Let’s step into a life that isn’t weighed down by past hurts and let God lead us to the freedom He has waiting.
Want More?
Here are three powerful resources to help you on your journey of forgiveness:
Our Fall Emag: Set Free: Absolution - The Healing Journey of Forgiveness shares real-life stories and practical insights to encourage you as you let go.
Bible Study: Deeply Rooted: A 5-day mini-study focused on growing strong in God’s love, even when forgiveness is hard.
Bible Study: The Path Less Traveled: Discover what it means to forgive even without reconciliation and how true forgiveness sets you free.
If you’re looking for a little more encouragement or fresh perspective on forgiveness or you want to grow deeper in your walk with God, this Emag and Studies are just for you. Let’s make this a season to finally let go and grab hold of the freedom Jesus has for us.
Living in the freedom God gave us,
Tracee Padilla
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